My Very Personal Views

I feel the need to address the issue of Proposition 8. However I cannot possibly give a simple declaration of how I will vote or what my stand is without giving all the background. So grab a snack and get comfy. My view on this issue is so highly personal that I have struggled with whether or not to post it. I am not sure how I can, but I will try.

First of all, when the decision was given by the courts, I immediately skipped the commentary and went straight to the actual California Supreme Court Decision. It was 172 pages and took me a week to read. I found that the judges were not "activist" but were very methodical in rendering their opinion. The three dissenting jurist were just as thoughtful. It came down to this, in my opinion: Is marriage a right? Is it a civil right? Can being gay be likened unto racial discrimination? Can a word be redefined? Those were the questions that I felt the decision and the dissension hinged upon. This was in May. (I have an opinion about every one of those questions, but my house is a mess and my children need to be fed so maybe later I will share those opinions.)

In June, our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints issued a letter to be read in all congregations throughout California. Here is the letter:

The following letter was sent from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to Church leaders in California to be read to all congregations on 29 June 2008:

Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families

In March 2000 California voters overwhelmingly approved a state law providing that “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” The California Supreme Court recently reversed this vote of the people. On November 4, 2 008, Californians will vote on a proposed amendment to the California state constitution that will now restore the March 2000 definition of marriage approved by the voters.

The Church’s teachings and position on this moral issue are unequivocal. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and the formation of families is central to the Creator’s plan for His children. Children are entitled to be born within this bond of marriage.

A broad-based coalition of churches and other organizations placed the proposed amendment on the ballot. The Church will participate with this coalition in seeking its passage. Local Church leaders will provide information about how you may become involved in this important cause.

We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.

We were at my nephew's missionary farewell in Lancaster when I heard it. I cringed. I did not want to be a part of this fight. A fight that we may not win. A fight that might mean that I could alienate friends and family. A fight that might be won and yet, someday, be overturned in the courts again. But in our church we hold a very bold belief. We believe that the President of our church is a prophet. Just like Moses or Noah or Abraham. We believe that Jesus Christ is the head of our church and that our prophet is His mouthpiece. When a letter comes from the First Presidency, we treat it as if it is from God. Ryan and I discussed it and both felt that even though we did not want to do it, we would follow the prophet.

I see it this way. If I were alive in the time of Noah, would I want to be on the ark with him or drowning in the water? If I were alive in the time of Moses, would I want to be in the Tabernacle seeing the face of God or worshipping at a golden calf? The whole point of studying the scriptures is to learn from them. What do I learn from reading the scriptures? Always be on the side of the prophet. I might not understand why. I might not be able to reconcile my personal feelings with what I have been asked to do. I do know that if I am on the side of God's mouthpiece, I will be on God's side. This is a bold claim. Understanding my feelings about this is necessary in understanding me. I believe that Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet on earth today and by following his words, I can return to live with my Father in Heaven and partake in endless happiness. So that was our resolve. To follow the prophet.

We did not hear much in the first couple of months. Then one day, our bishop called and asked me to go to a meeting. I knew what was going to be asked and I did not want to go. I said I would out of obedience. The whole time driving to the building I was crying. I did not want to do this. I am not a person who is intolerant. I do not hate people. I do not believe in denying people the opportunity to be happy. I have good friends, associates, neighbors, and relatives who are wonderful people and who are gay. I do not want to stand against any of them. My daughters' teachers, who are gay, have been wonderful teachers. They have never taught them anything inappropriate. I do not want to draw a line in the sand and be asked to choose: "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, ^achoose you ^bthis day whom ye will ^cserve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell" (Joshua 24:15)

I do not want to lose a single friend, neighbor, family member, coworker, or anyone over this issue. I cried the whole way to the meeting. But, I went. I went out of obedience and my desire to always be on the side of the living prophet.

In that first meeting, we were told of the efforts we were being asked to make. Door-to-door canvasing, which was not bad, because all we were supposed to do was to ask how people would vote. There was not to be any "convincing." I could handle that. Before the night was over, I was recruited to be a "recorder." I would take all the information from people canvasing the neighborhoods and input it into the computer.

I went out and walked my neighborhood on three Saturdays. Everything was pleasant. A couple of people remarked that I should not be asking such a personal question. I agreed with them that it was personal, so they did not have to answer. They did anyway. A few people were upset that I was disturbing their Saturday morning and they did not like solicitors. I was pleasant and thanked them for their time. The vast majority were very pleasant and we left every door with pleasant exchanges, regardless of how they were voting.

As everyone turned in the walking sheets, I recorded the information into the computer. It was interesting to me that this is an issue that crosses party lines. As many democrats as republicans and independents were for or against it. Age was a bigger difference. Most older people felt like marriage should be between and man and woman and younger people thought it should be open to everyone. But even this was not absolute. The oldest person I met, in this process, had a lesbian daughter that she wanted to have the option of getting married. It amazed me that there is no absolute demographic on this. I have worked hard at imputing this information.

There is a lot of information on this issue being spread through media and personal contact. Some of the stances sounds reasonable. Other seems extreme. We could play the "what if . . ." game forever. If Proposition 8 passes, then ___________. I do not like engaging in this conversation. I do not know if any of us really knows the ramification of the passage. One argument has to do with teaching children about same gender marriage in schools. I have heard people say that marriage must be taught in schools. Having taught K through 12 and holding an administrative credential, I can safely say that I never once taught marriage to any of my students. I was lucky to be able to teach my students to read and write and calculate. There was never a mandate that said I had to teach marriage in any grade. However, if I wanted to teach about it, I could teach about it whether Proposition 8 passes or not. Now, I cannot predict what will happen down the line. Maybe it would make a difference. We could speculate on it all day long and never come to anything decisive.

We sustain our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson as a prophet, seer and revelator. This means that he has specific duties to testify of Christ, to reveal God's will to us and to be able to "see" the consequences of actions. For example, we can all see the pebble splashing into the water, and then the ripples. He sees the ripples beforehand. After we see the ripples, then we can say "oh, that is what he meant." So with all the "What If" speculation, I believe that President Monson does know the ripples and that is why we have been asked to fight this fight.

Our belief in the eternal nature of gender, the eternal nature of marriage and families, and the eternal nature of procreation are deep beliefs. The Proclamation of the Family explains. They are foundational to our beliefs and provide the context for who we are, where we came from, why we are here on this earth, and what will happen after we die. The very reason for why we need redemption from sin through Jesus Christ is so we can continue in this eternal progression. And rest assured, we all need to repent and forgive and be kind to others and to choose the right. We do not believe homosexuals will burn in hell. We believe that we are all brothers and sisters and children of our Heavenly Father who loves us all the same.

I do not personally believe homosexuality is a choice. I have known too many who have suffered for the position they are in. The anguish over family and friend rejection, the loneliness of not having anyone take care of them as they aged, the longing for children, the guilt, the disease, the prejudice. I am speaking personally now when I say that none of these dear friends would have chosen that path. Some have died in genuine fear over their Judgement. So do I know the answers? No. I do not pretend to know. [Ryan thinks that I was a little unclear here. Although I believe same-gender attraction is not a choice, how one acts on those feelings is a choice. One can always choose how one will respond to feelings, cravings, and desires.]

So what do I know? I know a living prophet told me to do something. I am not being asked to die for my beliefs. I am not being asked to pack everything I own and leave and walk across the desert. I am not being asked to sell everything I own and give the money away. I am not being asked to build an ark. I am simply being asked to vote yes and to give my time and means to this cause. Will I lose friends? I sure hope not. Will I lose family? I really, really hope not.

I believe in tolerance, but I also believe that tolerance is a two-way street. Our 11th Article of Faith states: We claim the ^aprivilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the ^bdictates of our own ^cconscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them ^dworship how, where, or what they may.

Lately the discussion seems to be "you must be accepting of my beliefs, but I do not have to accept yours." As I read the almost daily comments on the local newspaper's website, I see very little tolerance for religious beliefs. I pray that we can all be tolerant. Unfortunately, this is one issue that seems to be butting heads. If the religion believes that homosexuality is a sin, then it is being intolerant and so it must change? If gay rights is a civil rights issue, does it trump religious rights? If it does, then bye-bye to the first amendment. That should give everyone a chill down their back.

Whether or not Proposition 8 passes or not, this is an issue that will not go away. This is the comment I left on Lillie's Blog: To those who hope Propostion 8 does not pass: you would be better off if it did. Should this right be limited to Californians or opened to all Americans? If you are a believer that it is a right, then you should want it for everyone, not just Californians. If Prop 8 passes, the courts will be forced to rule and the topic will have a faster path to the Supreme Court - THE ultimate law of the land. If Prop 8 does not pass it will take much longer - even decades - for each and every state to pass or rule on this. The Supreme Court is the fastest path to passage. So think about it: Are you willing to sacrifice a battle to win a war? Yes on Prop 8 is actually best for everyone.

I believe that eventually the Supreme Court will rule on this and then whatever they decide will be the law of the land.

This is an article I like: LA Times

This is from the church website: The Divine Institution of Marriage

By the way, there are many Mormons with varied beliefs. Some talk all day about how important Prop 8 is, but have not donated a dime or spent one minute on the campaign. I know a member who donated a lot of money who plans on voting no for personal beliefs. I know many good members who are still undecided. I know some that will definitely vote no. The majority that I know are torn but are trying to make the best decision they can. Some see this as purely political. Some see it as purely moral. Some see it as a matter of obedience. Some see it as a legal issue. Some see it as a "voice of the people" versus the courts issue. In other words, we are still thinking people and no one takes their bishop into the voting booth. It will come down to our own individual integrity for our own personal beliefs and our vote will be between ourselves and God.

We all have different beliefs, backgrounds, intellects, and experiences. No one wants to be thought of as hateful or intolerant. But, I will follow the prophet and have faith that it is right. Come what may.