TIRED
My dearest Heavenly Father
This morning, I woke up tired
as I do every day.
As sunrise meets the morning,
I wake up in the darkness, utterly exhausted
and I long for more sleep,
yet sleep leaves me spent.
Every morning, I awaken to silence,
and I wonder if the day will bring
mediocrity, or sorrow.
I wonder if I will love You the way You deserve to be loved
or if I will end the day in exhaustion again
longing for fellowship with You,
yet too tired to seek Your beautiful face.
I wonder if Your countenance will shine upon me
as I end the day in a dream.
Lord, I am tired
Life leaves me with little pleasure
and my days seem mixed in confusion.
Even so, I have one joy
and that is to love You.
The hope that every breath I draw
brings me closer to You.
It seems the mistakes that I've made,
while forgiven,
still leave me regretting,
and hover over me like the dark cloud
that drenches me in sorrow and pain.
Dormant days
filled with reminders of past mistakes
bring me to confusion,
and I am weakened
My past constantly ridicules me
telling me that I am nothing more than
a remnant of days gone by,
and a slave to the decisions that I've regretfully made.
I have brought much pain
into the life of the innocent,
and she suffers still.
I cannot rectify the past,
no matter how I try,
so I must suffer through my tears
and hope in Your love and mercy.
Your promises are my anchors
and I am confident that You are at work
as the storm rages
You will calm my fears, and wipe away my tears.
Even so, I feel so unworthy
of Your love and grace
as the damage I've done seems beyond repair
and the refuse is smoldering still.
It's smoke rises to you,
the smoke of past transgressions
mixed with the tears of those that I've hurt.
Lord, I am tired
Tired of feeling guilty and unoved
Tired of wondering how I must amend
for the pain that I have brought upon us all.
In my feeble mind
I try to make sense of it all,
while understanding eludes me
and frustration ensues.
My mind grows weary,
because I don't understand.
Clouds of regret
seem to overshadow
the sunshine rays of hope,
the light of Your promise and Your Word.
Please, Father, don't forsake me now
in my confusion, in my heartache
Make something beautiful out of my life
and glorify Yourself.
I give You all I have
I freely offer my love and adoration,
worship,
and the morningsong of my heart.
I offer You my confusion and heartache,
my pride and regret.
Glorify Yourself, my beautiful Lord
Make Yourself known through me
Bring order out of the chaos,
and strengthen my weak mind.
Fill me with Your knowledge and grace,
Your love and truth
and bring me to the place of perfect rest and peace.
Increase all that I am
so that I may love You more
and search my heart
so that I may worship You with a pure conscience.
Please, Lord, I am so tired.
Draw me near to Yourself,
and let me bring my child with me,
into Your warm embrace.
